“Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Don’t leave home without them.”–Jeff Brown
“Generosity cannot exist without boundaries… Boundaries are not easy, but they are the key to self-love… Nothing is sustainable without boundaries.”–Brené Brown
“Here in the West, where true caring is equated with doing and fixing there is not harder lesson to be learned than this: We cannot truly feel compassion for another person or place or being without first detaching from it!” –Your Spacious Self
So how do we do that? How do separate from our need to fix and manage, and help others, when everything we’ve been taught is to step in, give of our selves, and help.
Here’s what I know: For us to truly be able to shine brightly and exercise compassionate detachment in ways that are real and don’t fry our circuits, we must learn to set clear boundaries: say no when we mean no; establish what’s okay and acceptable and not okay; allow our feelings to guide us; be fierce advocates for ourselves. Yes, even if it means disappointing others and letting go of our need to being liked and approved of. It’s a bit counter-intuitive and requires mindful practice.
I call it radical self-care.
Bottom line, we cannot clear for good or experience the true spaciousness without it.
Brené Brown nails it in this video explaining what it means to create boundaries.
“My question is B.I.G. What boundaries need to be in place for me to stay in my integrity and make the most generous assumptions about you? The generosity cannot exist without boundaries.” –Brené Brown