How we hold the simplest of our tasks,
speaks loudly about how we hold life itself.
––Gunilla Norris, Being Home

Putting Away As Prayer

When I read the Preface to Gunilla Norris’ wonderful little book Being Home, I realized that my love of doing repetitive housekeeping tasks, like washing the dishes or putting away the same things in the same places every day, wasn’t me just being a hopeless anal-compulsive as I might have believed (and my family might teasingly argue is the case).

Putting away is how I get centered. It connects me to a still place within myself. Folding laundry, or sweeping the floor, or hanging the wash up to dry on a warm and sunny day (and smelling its freshness when I take it down), is how I slow down and quiet the mind. I am soothed and nourished by the ordinary—by what Norris calls “the extraordinary beauty of dailiness.” As she puts it:

“Prayer and housekeeping—they go together. They have always gone together…In my own life I have found no better way than to value and savor the sacredness of daily living, to rely on repetition, that humdrum rhythm, which heals and steadies. Increasingly it is for me a matter of being willing ‘to be in place,’ to enter into deeper communion with the objects and actions of a day and to allow them to commune with me. It is a way to know and to be known…”¹

Greta D. Sibley, whose gorgeous photographs accompany Norris’ meditations, adds this wisdom in her own Preface:

“If anything we do in this life matters, then everything we do matters. There isn’t living and Living. The only difference is how completely we giveourselves to living, how we let ourselves be part of the cosmos and be lived. There isn’t light and Light, trash and Trash. There is no alternate utopia running parallel to this life. This is it.”²

Taking care of our things—placing them where they belong when we see them gumming up our lives—can be one of the most powerful, if subtle, forms of bringing our selves and our homes back into balance. In this chapter, you will see how tending the home in small ways gives us an opportunity to connect with our things and visit the spaces that house them. You will see that it doesn’t take much to get the energy moving, create new openings in your life, promote mindfulness, and instill a deeper caring for your self, your home, and, the world at large.

No Home, No Have

I have a client who realized that what she needed was easy access to her purse every day, but because it had no “home” she kept tripping over it on her way out the front door. Leaving the house was like navigating a slalom course of purses, keys, coats, and shoes. She admitted that it was an awful way to start the day. This one issue, however, forced her to consider the usefulness of the bookcase that took up prime real estate in the front entrance of her house—smack dab where her purse and car keys would logically go. Moving her beloved books to another, more sensible location, like the study or living area, would require that she displace (or clear) something else to make room for the bookcase. Finding a home for her one little purse started a musical-chair movement of clearing that affected the entire house.

I once saw this staggering statistic in Newsweek: “It takes the average American fifty-five minutes every day—roughly twelve weeks a year—looking for things they know they own but can’t find.”³ Though I’ve thought that this outdated factoid (which always seemed a bit exaggerated) could not possibly relate to me, I had to smile when I found myself tearing my entire office apart looking for this very quotation to make my point! I can’t say that it took me fifty-five minutes to locate it, but, if I added the time it took me to look for the sales receipt I needed to return a set of curtain rods, plus find the phone number for a subscription I wanted to cancel, I suppose you could say I’m getting up there.

These are the obvious reasons for giving every thing a home, of course. Having a place for everything helps us keep things in order and find them again. It helps us get to the car in the morning without tripping over shoes, backpacks, or purses. Giving things a home also helps us know when we have too much stuff. Finding zero space in the bookcase to jam another paperback, or zero coat hangers to hang the new outfit we just bought on sale, for example, gives us instant feedback that something has to give or something has to go. Housing things properly holds us accountable and keeps us honest.

But, as we have seen already, there is more going on here than the obvious. If we consider the concept of “participatory relationship” that we explored in Chapter 2 and that Gunilla Norris alludes to in her book Being Home, there is something vital—something organic and alive—that connects us to our homes and our things. Giving an object that we use and love a dedicated space recognizes its purpose and honors its value to us. Papers, bottles, sticky candy wrappers strewn in the back seat of the car, for example, or homeless CDs scattered helter-skelter, or leftovers molding on the kitchen counter, represent way more than “poor slob” or “hopeless” human behaviors. To me they reflect a level of unconsciousness: a deep disconnect from our environment and our world at large. If you wonder how this can be so, just stop for a moment and use the practice tool we learned in Chapter 4 and feel what it feels like—physically and emotionally—to neglect or disrespect your things.

So here’s my tough-love position on this issue: No matter how precious, or valuable, or critical your things may be to your personal survival, self-concept, health, or well being, unless you have a permanent and dedicated place to put them, they are…clutter! This means, simply: no home, no have.

Placement Has Its Place

If everything is energy as we learned in Chapter 3, then it’s fair to say that the simple act of moving things around will release stagnant energy—no matter what it is. Rounding up a pile on your desk or putting the reading glasses back in their home or simply moving a pile of clutter from one corner to another, gets the energy moving! It is a great way to gather up all the loose ends (strings) of the day. What’s more, as we will explore in the next chapter, these practices have the added benefit of creating new neural pathways in the brain. They relax the central nervous system and produce feelings of calm and well-being.

Years ago when I was a teenager, I spent a summer as a Montessori School teacher’s assistant for three to five-year olds. Even back then, I was astonished by the level of harmony and peacefulness that prevailed in the classroom. For Maria Montessori the idea of placement was integral to her philosophy, and continues to be a principal teaching tool for developing gross and fine motor skills. Kids as young as two and half years of age learn to respect their space and each other at a very deep level.

In every Montessori classroom, there are cubbies and containers to house every object that a child uses. Things are grouped by function and size: larger blocks together, medium blocks together, and so on. Children can play with anything they like provided they put it back where they found it before moving on to the next toy, game, or activity. Teachers help kids instill these habits by taking their hands and physically guiding them to the appropriate cubby or container, every time until they master the task.

For the Japanese, housing things and putting them away is an essential way of life not only for its practical benefits, but also as a high form of artistic expression. The homes I visited when I was in Japan years ago felt to me like temples; they embodied a simple elegance that was immediately restful and inviting. I was moved by the conscious placement of things: A window framing the garden just so to draw the eye through the interior space in a very restful way; shoes and slippers lined up neatly in the foyer for easy access; futon beds and linens stored during the day behind beautiful soji screens to allow a space to serve many uses. The Japanese have much less living space in actual square footage than we do in this country, and still they manage to create a level of spaciousness that far exceeds our own.

The Shaker tradition doesn’t hide its useful things behind screens like the Japanese. The chairs, the broom, the tools of daily living—which are beautiful in their own right—are hung right up on the wall in plain view. I can’t imagine any American household suspending their coffee pot or blender, but the idea of having one useful thing that is easy to reach and lovely to look at, instead of dozens of specialty things cluttering the countertops, is very appealing.

Imagine what life would be like if we had designated places for all of our things and learned to put things away consistently: putting the receipts away after paying the bills, putting make-up in the basket after using it, putting dirty clothes in the hamper. Takes, what? One second, to toss the shirt in the basket?

So here’s what to do:

1. Find a home for everything even if you still cannot bring yourself to put it away right away like the Montessori kids. Just knowing that something has its own dedicated space helps to quiet some of the chaos. It also feels good when you can put things where they belong, “put things to bed,” so to speak. Get yourself a lot of beautiful containers or storage baskets and label them if you have to. This will make your things easy to find later on. If you need help getting started, hire a personal organizer. They are magicians when it comes to optimizing space and creating order out of chaos.
2. Give each thing as much breathing room as possible. It feels great to put things away into drawers or closets when there is still space left in them. As a squirrel hoarder who used to jam things in so tightly that the closet hinges nearly broke off, this point still feels radical to me. The mere thought of having spaces that remain empty is a huge stretch, and when I am able to pull it off, it feels almost decadent.
3. Sort things by kind. Place your dishes together with other dishes. Keep all photos together in one place. Dry goods in bulk together. Art projects together. Liquid items together. All coffee supplies together. Socks together in the drawer. Winter clothes together. Fishing equipment. Skis, boots, poles, helmets. Summer clothes together. Big things together, small together. Things you like looking at up front, less pretty things you need in back. You get the idea.

Try These: Moving the Energy

Jumpstarting, cultivating, or maintaining a daily clearing practice requires motivation and a certain degree of locomotion. Here are my favorite ways to create momentum when time and energy are in short supply. They are also terrific ways to promote mindfulness. Choose one or incorporate all four of them into your daily routine:

1. Put away one thing whenever you see it out of place.
2. Put away the same thing in the same place every day.
3. Round up one area for sixty seconds.
4. Make friends with your broom.

Here’s how they work:

Putting Away One Thing

Put this book down and take a look at the room you’re sitting in. If it’s your home or workplace, do a quick scan and see if there is one thing here you are not using right now that is not in its designated home. Now—here’s the hardest part (hee hee)—get up and put it where it belongs! If it doesn’t have a home, consider the question why and the possibility that it, or something else, will have to go. After you have relocated the object, ask yourself these questions: How hard was that, really? What does it feel like to consciously place this thing in its proper place every time? How does the room feel now?

If you’re not in your home or workplace, take out your wallet or purse or backpack and do the same thing. Do a quick scan and see if there is one thing in here that is not in its designated home. Set it aside to relocate later, or toss it. Ask yourself the same questions as before.

Putting Away the Same Thing—Same Place

This practice involves putting away the same thing every day. Powerfully simple, it will create new pathways in your home, life, and brain! First, choose one thing that you can commit to putting away every day for one week. Choose something that is a stretch but will not elicit stress hormones. Second, find a home for it where it will stay for at least a week. Third, put it away every day. After a week of this, notice how it feels. Notice how hard it was. Notice if it has stirred any resistance. Notice if this simple exercise promoted an ease of putting away other things you hadn’t planned on addressing. Here are some examples:

• Car keys, reading glasses, remote control, cell phone;
• Coats, clothing, boots;
• Recyclables: newspapers, magazines, junk mail, shopping bags, bottles and cans;
• DVDs in their cases;
• Dirty clothes in the hamper;
• Clean clothes in the closet or drawer;
• Butter in the fridge;
• Crumbs in the trash;
• Car in the garage;
• Book on the nightstand instead of the floor.

Even the smallest actions of putting away every day can make a difference in changing the energy. For example:

• Lights out.
• Turn off the TV or radio.
• Put the toilet seat down.
• Close drawers all the way.
• Push chairs in after eating or working at the desk.
• Sharpen the pencils.
• Make the bed.
• Match shoes with mates.
• Close or open the curtains/shades.
• Lock the door until you hear the “click.”
• Push toothpaste tube up and put the toothpaste cap on.
• Put away toothbrush, make-up, shaving stuff.

Rounding Up in Sixty Seconds

For one week put everything away in one room before retiring for the night. If it’s the family room, pick up the newspapers and place in the recycling bin or the “to read” basket, stack the magazines on the coffee table, return dirty dishes to the kitchen, place toys in the toy box, fluff up the pillows and thump the sofa cushions, rewind the videotape, eject the DVD, place tapes or books that need to be returned to the video store or library in their special “out shelf” or “out box,” close the TV cabinet, shut the curtains or blinds, turn the light switch off. Note: This does not mean reading the article in the paper that immediately catches your eye. It does not mean taking the dog out for a quick walk. This does not mean washing the dishes or making a phone call. This does not mean raging at family members who left a huge pile of dirty dishes. This task is simply to pick up the room to the best of your ability in less than one minute.

Make it quick and fun. Get the kids, partners, or roommates to help. Time yourself the first time you do this if you think it takes too long. Can you do this in less than sixty seconds? How does it feel to return to this space the next morning?

Note: If it’s too much to do a whole room, reduce the round-up perimeter to smaller areas or piles in your home. If it’s too easy to do one room, expand the round-up perimeter to include other piles or spaces in your home.

Befriending the Broom

If everything so far is still too much to manage, there’s always the kitchen broom! The broom is an invaluable tool and our home’s best friend. Get yourself a nice broom and keep it in a prominent, handy place. Here are some ways to make friends with it:

• Sweep with the intention of invoking a fresh start, creating openings in your life, clearing a path to a solution to a problem that has eluded you…
• Sweep every day as a practice in mindfulness and letting go.
• Sweep after each clearing session to bring in new energy to the area cleared.
• Sweep your front steps to bring new energy, chi, or life force, through your entrance.
• Whack your mattress every six months and turn it over.
• Whack your bedding and hang it out to air.
• Whack your sofas, chairs, pillows.
• Reach and clear cobwebs in the ceiling, window frames, curtains, light fixtures.
• Pretend you’re dancing with your beloved or playing the air guitar.
• Get your profligate family to get off their duffs to help you!

Tolerations

Tolerations are those niggly tasks or projects that never seem to get done. They’ve been on your to-do list for so long you don’t even notice that they bug you anymore. Tolerations become the background noise of your life: the broken stereo, the frayed bedspread, the box of photos that need sorting, the dirty windows, the squeaky seatbelt or cabinet door, the chipped teapot, the missing buttons, the color printer that needs new toner, the front door lock that keeps sticking, the light bulb that has burned out on the back porch, the drip in the faucet, the slow-draining sink…

Tolerations are also those clearing projects we haven’t yet addressed, like taking the stuff to Goodwill or having the yard sale, setting up the auction site on e-Bay, calling someone to take away the junk in the garage. Tolerations keep us stuck in a rut and prevent energy from moving more freely.

In addition to the simple action steps detailed earlier, you can address one toleration every day as a surefire way to create momentum, raise the energy, and feel really good! It’s also a perfect thing to do when you only have a short bit of time on your hands.

Try These: Addressing Tolerations

Begin to look around at all those things you have simply put up with and make an ongoing master list of your tolerations. Once a week, take a look at your list and address at least one of these tasks. Add the easy ones to your daily regime of putting away. Here are some examples:

• Replace burned-out light bulb, mildewed shower curtain, bath mat, dirty sponges, stained dish towels, filthy cookie sheets, tired pots or pans, tired mattress pad, pillow, or mattress.
• Clean windows, rugs, curtains, fireplace.
• Make an appointment for a haircut, dental cleaning, oil change for car, auto recall notice, closet organizer, piano tuner, chimney sweep, house painter.
• Feed, prune, or water plants; put birdseed in the bird feeder.
• Clear bulletin board or fridge of expired flyers and coupons, faded photos, useless phone numbers.
• Oil squeaky door hinge, tighten screw of shower handle, repair broken window.
• Organize spice rack, consolidate, or clear out duplicates; downsize extra food storage containers and throw out ones with no lid.
• Increase wattage of reading lights.
• Sew missing button, hand wash wool sweaters, put away out of season clothes.
• Clear and organize computer files.
• Write thank you notes.
• Complete legal papers: Living Will, refinancing, etc.
• Open the curtains and shed more light!

* * *

Summary: Put Away Every Day

• No home, no have.
• Giving things a home recognizes their purpose and honors their value.
• Giving things a home and putting them away promotes a sense of calm and well-being.
• Putting away the same thing in the same place creates new neural pathways in the brain that lead to new habits.
• Rounding up one area is a great way to gather all the loose ends (strings) of your day.
• The simple act of sweeping is relaxing and meditative.
• Addressing one toleration every day is a surefire way to get your energy moving, create openings in your life, and feel really good!

Tending

Goals: The practice this week is intended to help promote mindfulness by tending the home: to develop a new respect for things and spaces, and create new habits that ripple out into effortless action of putting away and addressing tolerations.

Reminders: Please remember to take it easy, allow your feelings, honor your limits, and drink more water than usual to offset any possible side-effects of the clearing practice.

Tasks: Complete the following and add more as time and energy permit:

• Every day:
• Choose at least one of the four practices detailed in Try This: Moving the Energy and have some fun! Try to include any set of Softening Attitudes and repeat with eyes open while practicing these tasks.
• Practice any set of Softening Attitudes with eyes closed for five to twenty minutes, two or three times a day.
• Once this week:
  • Feeling Check: Take a moment and notice what it feels like when you repeat these phrases silently to yourself without trying to do or fix anything:
    • “I honor and value my things.”
    • “I honor and value my self.”
  • Address one toleration from the list provided, or choose an item from your own on-going list that needs your attention. Notice what it feels like after having completed it.
  • Record in your journal any feelings, shifts, synchronicities, dreams, or ah-has that you notice from practicing this week’s tasks and from the clearing journey in general.
• End of the week or month:
  • Read Chapter 7 if you feel complete and ready to move forward to the next stage of clearing.

Stage Three

Circle Discussion: Complete the following and add more as time and energy permit:

1. Describe highs and lows:

• Synchronicities, shifts, or ah-has you are experiencing.
• Any weather patterns that you are noticing as you work with this book.

2. Describe:

• What it feels like to say: “I honor and value my things.”
• (If different) What it feels like to say: “I honor and value my self.”

3. Share:

• What it feels like to put away the same thing, round up the same area, or sweep, every day.
• Resistances that come up for you that make these tasks difficult; thoughts that might feed the resistance.
• The effects, if any, that have rippled out as a result of these simple practices of putting away.
• Your own list of tolerations and what it was like to address one of them.

4. Discuss themes:

• Use the Summary highlights in this chapter to guide your discussion further (time permitting).

5. Plan next meeting:

• Logistics, time, and place.

Excerpted from Your Spacious Self: Clear Your Clutter and Discover Who You Are
Copyright 2007 © Stephanie Bennett Vogt - All Rights Reserved

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