This book is the culmination of
many years of study, deep inquiry, and
personal experience on a topic that is
near and dear to everyone's heart.
How do you define clutter?
Clutter is anything that prevents us from experiencing our true nature. It is not just the junk you see spilling out of the closet. It can also be a thought, a fear, or a memory that doesn’t serve and support you anymore. My definition of clutter is much broader than the usual, and includes the myriad ways that we humans hold on and create imbalance in our lives.
What do you mean by Spacious?
Spaciousness is not something you “do” or “get.” It is a state of being. Most of us hardly know who we really are because we’re caught in a web of attachments to things, beliefs, and outcomes. Every time we feel stress or worry, for example, it’s like we’ve added another string to this tangled field of energy that we carry around with us everywhere we go—not unlike the adorable Peanuts character, Pigpen, with his permanent cloud of dust. And here’s the rub: we get so caught up in this illusory cloud that it feels real. We cannot see or imagine ourselves being any other way. We make decisions and react all the time from this place. Spaciousness is something we can cultivate by consciously releasing one “string” at a time. This book shows you how.
You talk about the side effects associated with clutter clearing. What do you mean? Here’s the thing about clutter clearing that most books or workshops do not address: When we clear anything no matter how small—be it a material possession, a negative thought, a worry, a difficult relationship—it releases huge amounts of energy. This so-called energy has been stuck for a long time and has a way of releasing in all manner of ways. Clearing can result in our feeling more tired, cranky, spacey, or sad than usual. We may have urges to overeat, avoid, or hold on even more. We may feel terrific one minute and completely fall apart the next. These are all normal responses and really good signs that something is shifting! My book is unique because it not only talks about the many “weather patterns” that can surface when we clear, but it shows you how to ride the waves when these surges arise without taking them personally.
What sets this book apart from most books on clutter clearing?
Most clutter clearing modalities see clutter as this “thing” that is separate from us: a nuisance or growth, that we must extract, conquer, outwit, or re-organize. If you have clutter, and most of us do, the standard approach is to get rid of it as fast as possible; use it or lose it, as the popular expression goes. But here’s the thing: rushing a job and fixing a problem that has been slowly gestating for a long time, sometimes an entire lifetime, has a way of creating more resistance, more holding. Most clearing methods that are outcome-driven completely miss (and dismiss) the equally powerful receptive elements of clearing that invite us to slow down, accept, allow, listen, surrender, soften, let go, that this book offers. Until we begin to make a shift in our mindset that recognizes and embraces and includes the feminine aspects of clearing, we will not begin to change our lives, nor bring change to the planet.
My home is generally free of clutter. How can this book help me?
Don’t let the word “clutter” in the title fool you into thinking that this book is written only for those of us who suffer from physical excess. If you’re one of those tidy, organized, neat-as-a-pin types, this book is for you, too.In fact, no matter what your housekeeping habits and lifestyle predilections might happen to be, if you live in a body that gets out of balance, thinks thousands of thoughts a day, feels pain and loss and fear from time to time, or gets caught up in worries of the moment, this book is for you.
How do we know when we’re being spacious?
Everyone has their own unique experience of spaciousness and it’s often hard to quantify, measure, or put words to it. Generally speaking it’s a quality of feeling; it’s palpable. In my case it’s a yummy feeling of being in the flow: gliding through life without resistance or friction. It is accepting things more readily as they are, without judging them as good or bad. It is the experience of my buttons not getting pressed as often when something happens or someone does something I find objectionable. At the highest level, spaciousness is the “Mother Teresa” aspect that comes built-in as part of the human condition: it is a total acceptance that derives from pure awareness, self-love, and self-care. Spaciousness is Compassion with a capital C.
What do you mean by “go slow to go fast”?
Clearing clutter has a way of pressing our buttons. It’s not unusual for the brain to flood the body with stress chemicals whenever we depart from our usual safe routines. This fight or flight response is like having a permanent secret service agent ready to spring into action anytime it senses danger. The problem is that it doesn’t distinguish between fending off a tiger in the jungle and tossing the pile of mildewed National Geographics from the attic. The slow-drip approach to clearing offered in this book is designed specifically to bypass the brain’s hardwiring so that it doesn’t set off unnecessary alarm bells. “Rounding up” one area, putting away the same thing in the same place, or removing just one paper clip from a chronically messy desk, every day, may seem inconsequential and not worth the bother, but in the context of tiny repetitive actions leading to new habits and lasting change, their role cannot be overlooked.
How does clutter clearing differ from personal organizing?
I’m a big believer in organizing our lives. Putting away every day is a powerful practice, and something to which I’ve devoted an entire chapter in my book. When I began my clearing journey I noticed that moving my things into neat little piles was a great way to feel good, but not a great way to face my own inner demons: that is, my control issues and natural tendencies and hold on. Organizing does not offer us the rich opportunity to feel our feelings that the clearing journey offers us. Organizing is a terrific adjunct, not a replacement.
One of the many features of your book is something called a “Clearing Circle.”
What is that?
I’m proud of the fact that this book is designed to meet readers wherever they are in the clearing spectrum: from clearing out a single toothpick to forming what I call a clutter clearing “Circle.” Clearing your stuff is powerful enough, but when you add to your journey a group of like-minded individuals willing to gather every-other week or month to share their own stories of triumph and challenge, it can be pure magic. People often feel lighter and clearer without having lifted a finger to clear at home simply because a space was held for them. My six-week workshops are a testament to the witnessing process that allows huge amounts of pain and shame, fear and loneliness, associated with clutter to melt away in the presence of pure, unconditional support. For anybody who is interested in taking this extra step, I offer simple guidelines for how to create and maintain an on-going clearing support group. The Circle agenda is divided into six stages, and it adapts easily to peoples’ lives and timetables.
How did you come to write this personal book about clutter and clearing?
As one of those tidy, organized types I was shocked to discover how cluttered I was. People who don’t see their clutter spilling out of drawers or tripping them in the hallway might need special nudging, or as in my case, a huge wake-up call. My journey began over ten years ago, inelegantly kicked off by a severe case of the flu that was to last the better part of four weeks. This event packed a wallop to my system. It showed me that my life was seriously out of balance and that if I kept doing what I was doing (or not doing), things could get a lot worse. I was forty-two years old at the time, a mother, a wife, a teacher, and I was burned out! I didn’t know who I was anymore or what I loved. So I did what most people might consider a form of professional suicide: I pulled the plug on a successful twenty-year teaching career, a senior position with fabulous benefits, and leapt head first into the terrifying void I call “not knowing.” Clearing my stuff became a rich pathway of personal discovery that continues to this day. My own story provides a colorful backdrop to this book.

Photo by Daphne Weld Nichols
 

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