“I live by the truth that ‘No’ is a complete sentence. I rest as a spiritual act.”–Anne Lamott, O Magazine
Most of us think of caring for ourselves as an extra-curricular activity. Something we squeeze into our lives at the end of the day. Or when everyone else in the family is taken care of. Or when we’re sick.
In my book, which I might describe as a uniquely feminine approach to clutter clearing that invites readers to do what does not come naturally — i.e. slow down, observe, listen, trust, feel, allow mystery, surrender – supporting ourselves with daily doses of self-care is not optional. In fact, without it, clearing becomes a tedious, unsustainable chore.
Self-care is not just something you do when you’re on vacation, or your circuits are fried, or you need a special treat after working so hard. Self-care is something you cultivate and practice every day because it is as essential to the body and spirit as eating, or breathing.
Plus, why the heck not. It feels really good!
Self-care is something that you do because it supports your intentions and ongoing practice in letting go:
“…Surround yourself with at least one thing that you love every day…Cook or bake your favorite dish…Buy a bouquet of the most vibrant flowers…Listen to fabulous music…Light a candle… Clap, dance, rattle, sing––anything to awaken the senses… Take yourself out on a date (solo)…Say no to one big should, and replace it with one big ‘Yes’ that nourishes you instead…Take a salt and soda bath or shower…Avoid people in your life that are not cheerful, optimistic, or supportive…Invite only the funnest people over for Thanksgiving…Watch ‘I Love Lucy’ re-runs…Declare you home a ‘should-free’ zone…”
–Excerpted from Your Spacious Self: Clear Your Clutter and Discover Who You Are
When it comes to clearing our homes and lives, the formula for success is pretty simple really. It goes something like this:
- Self-care = Support
- Support = Release
- Release = Real Ease
- Real Ease = Ahhhh (…yes, life can be like this all the time!)
The self-care model works because it goes beyond the mind’s capacity to rationalize…or understand. The mind with its endless litany of well-crafted comebacks (“It’s not that simple…” “If you knew what my life was like…” “I’ve tried slowing down, taking baths, lighting candles, but they don’t last; I’m back to being stressed again…”) is unhinged in the presence of pure ease.
So here are some wonder questions to consider this week. They’re written in such a way to help you bypass the wily mind, raise your energy level and awareness, and open the channels to your deeper self (i.e. the quiet part of you that knows).
Just ask the questions quietly or out loud and wait. Don’t search or force an answer. The questions will work their magic without your help. All you need to do is allow, observe, and feel whatever arises:
- Why am I worthy of support?
- How am I worthy of support?
- What is one thing I can do right now that feels really good?
I’d love to know what your wonderings and experiences are with this exercise if you feel moved to share in the box below. What are some ways that you support yourself daily? (Even the one-minute kind.) In what ways do you resist your true nature?
Consider that by posting your comments you are clearing! Yes, just talking about self-care releases stuck energy. It also sets some powerful intentions in motion!
Have fun with this…and happy clearing!
How lucky that I met you in the shuttle to San Miguel last night! And then we bumped into each other in centro this afternoon. I found the listing for your miniworkshop at the Writer’s conference. Seems like something that might be really good for you. I really like your blog. This is an area that I still have to work on.
I feel self-nurtured when I make time to go to yoga classes and/or take a long walk or hike. I am definitely more peaceful when I do this on a regular basis.