Why is it so difficult to do what we say we’re going to do?
The lizard brain.
– Seth Godin, “Quieting the lizard brain.”
You’ve probably heard me talk plenty about slowing down, softening resistance, “reducing and repeating,” cultivating ease...
If I sound like a broken record it’s because there’s a reason. The reason is that when it comes to clearing our stuff and our stress it’s really easy to to get foggy-headed or lose heart; to get side-railed or fall off the proverbial wagon. All our good intentions have a way of going poof when we bump up against our fears and resistance. That’s because something in the brain is getting tripped over and over again. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s called fight-or-flight.
Every time you feel overwhelmed (…stressed out, unable to move forward, paralyzed, fearful, buttons getting pressed, resistant, recalcitrant, stuck in a rut…) you can bet that the switch just went off in this ancient part of your brain.
The trigger is a small, almond-size cluster of neurons called the amygdala. Like a built-in secret service agent, it springs into action the moment it senses danger (read: you step out of your comfort zone, you’re in over your head, you’ve taken on more than you can chew, you’re in real danger).
It’s a good thing to have when a lion is charging at you, or your kid is about to step into traffic, or a car swerves into your lane. Not exactly useful or welcome when you’re clearing out an attic full of sentimental attachments, watching your only child go off to college, preparing to talk to a roomful of expectant students.
So how do you disconnect the thing so that the alarm bells aren’t going off at all hours?
You can’t. It’s hard-wired.
But you can make friends with it by…
- being aware of how you feel [especially before you shut down or your circuits get fried]
- feeling the feelings that come up without taking them personally
- reducing your area of focus to one thing or activity
- choosing a task that is easier to manage or gentler on your system
- thinking of resistance as a form of stuck energy that can get unstuck – with awareness and spacious detachment
- adopting a daily practice of self-care that feels good and nourishes you instead
What is one thing you’re ready to release?
Can you break down the task into smaller one-minute steps that you can repeat until the task is complete?
That would be the approach, the secret to clearing anything, and the place to start.
p.s. If you needed any more proof that I’ve been a “broken record” messenger for many years, this post was originally published on January 29, 2010. Like with many things that still have life left in them, I have spiffed it up and re-purposed it here. New look, cleaner copy, same message. In-joy!
Dear Readers: If you found this message helpful, please forward it to someone else (or share, like, tweet, pin… ) and let’s build the clearing energy together that will help to lighten all of our loads!
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I like this post from SpaceClear. (I took a class of Stephanie’s back in 2001–quite useful.) I’m going to try to become more aware of the feeling of resistance and come up with a strategy for acknowledging & letting it go. Deep breathing, anyone?
I am continually amazed by the amount of misinformation that’s on the web, and when the source is a supposedly well-regarded author and speaker, my discouragement is overwhelming at what is considered intelligent and laudatory by today’s standards.
In an effort to stem the tide—or at least one tiny drop— of misinformation, I must tell you that the amygdala is not a mechanism in the brain but “an almond-shape set of neurons located deep in the brain’s medial temporal lobe. . . . Shown to play a key role in the processsing of emotions, the amygdala forms part of the limbic system.”
In the name of accuracy, please correct this error.
Thank you.
Thanks for your comments, Susan, and setting us (me) straight on the amygdala. If you’re a science writer, which I am not, phrasing things with exact precision for language makes perfect sense.
In my world of clearing, where feelings of overwhelm can be debilitating and even paralyzing for so many of my readers, my interest as a writer is to language concepts in the super-simplest possible way. When it comes to explaining things, I favor descriptive analogies that have helped me understand the heady stuff, and give readers something they can relate to without getting lost, bogged down, or mired in heady detail.
Unfortunately the consequence of this choice can cause experts to grate and blow a few gaskets when they see that I’ve “botched up” the precise definition of things.
I know you’ll bristle even more for my saying this, but here’s an invitation: What would it feel like to let this issue go? To “love up” (i.e. release by feeling the emotional charge) of the button that got pressed?
Truly, how we process our attachments and resistances is much more meaningful to me than words on a page.
Thanks again for writing.
Wishing you all the best in your journey.
Stephanie Bennett Vogt
p.s. I was curious about my usage of the word “mechanism” so I looked up in the online dictionary: “The agency or means by which an effect is produced or a purpose is accomplished.” For my purposes of explaining how we humans go into fight-or-flight mode when we step out of our comfort zone [to clear our clutter], the phrasing works for me like a charm. Thank you for the heads up, though. I’m not above admitting when I miss the mark. In this case, I don’t believe I have. Peace. Stephanie