Breaking the Cycle of Overwhelm

It’s all well and good to clear your home and life, but if you’re in a constant state of overwhelm, no amount of hope and desire (or trash bags and nifty containers), is going to make a sustainable dent on build-up of stuff and stress.

Same goes with urgency.

If you’re feeling desperate to make a change, the real work of clearing must focus on the desperation and the overwhelm  – not the piles.

I know, bummer, right? Especially when all you want is to see the stuff and stress gone!

But here’s the good news: when you address the resisting patterns, the physical stuff and emotional stress starts to melt away. Yes, like magic! Over time, clearing the things and thoughts that once plagued you become an effortless non-event.

So, how do you break the cycle of overwhelm? And where does one even begin?

The short answer: You’ve already started by simply reading this far. That may not feel like much, I know, but intention and desire is a powerful first step.

Below is the longer answer – in my reply to a question I received recently in an email (expanded for this post):

Question:

I have a serious need to declutter my home, as I believe it’s not only affecting me – but also my kids (I have two, ages 6 and 8). That being said, I am supremely busy and need to be as efficient as possible. I came to your site hoping for a clear sense of where to start and what the best choice for me among your offerings would be – and (maybe somewhat ironically) I was a little overwhelmed by the plethora of your offerings.

Would you mind steering me in the right direction? I have lots of piles that need to be addressed, pronto. 🙂

 All my best, and thanks for your work in the world,

N.S.

Answer:

Hi N,

Your question is a good one. It’s the million-dollar question that I get asked all the time – with “overwhelm” being the background music driving the whole thing.

You’re probably not going to like my answer. 😉

I’m of the school of clutter clearing that believes that quick-fix solutions to managing (“being efficient with,” “dealing with,” “getting rid of”) the excess build-up of stress and stuff don’t work.

This comes from having spent twenty years deep in the trenches of clearing people’s living spaces and breaking the code on why most clearing efforts, though well intentioned, don’t last.

Short term solutions might help for a little while. But until we give ourselves permission to feel the feelings that are encoded in the stress and stuff, and nurture real ease, the cycle of overwhelm usually sneaks back in.

When we move too fast and focus on end result we miss the chance to clear in way that changes everything – for good!

My counterintuitive approach to clearing things and thoughts, therefore, may not look like much on paper, but it is simple, and it works. It boils down to adopting daily one-minute practices that build upon one another to break up the overwhelm cycle, soften resistance, and develop new habits that feel good and lead to lasting change.

I tell people if they’re really serious about reducing their clutter, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional, they have to start slow and dial it way back to bypass the fight or flight part of the brain that gets activated (and is already in the red zone of overwhelm).

My suggestion as a place to start is to take my 28-day course on DailyOM. It may not take care of the piles at home that are driving you nuts right away… but it will address and reduce the resisting patterns that created the clutter in the first place. It will help you begin the process of unwinding and lightening your load, from the inside out.

Here’s the link.

And if you’re still with me at the end of 28 days, I make further recommendations of your next steps after that, and how keep going…

You don’t need to have it all figured out. All you need is your first step and the rest will take care of itself.

The last thing I’ll say is that if you enter into this whole thing as a nourishing journey, instead of a tedious task that you have to complete by a certain deadline (as “efficiently” as possible), you may be pleasantly surprised by how easy and fun clearing can be.

Hope this helps!

Warmly,

Stephanie

p.s. To learn more about my counter-intuitive approach to clearing, I recommend you read my book Your Spacious Self: Clear the Clutter and Discover Who You Are. It breaks the code in a very practical, illuminating way.

 Dear Readers: If you found this message helpful, please forward it to someone else (or share, like, tweet, pin… ) and let’s build the clearing energy together that will help to lighten all of our loads!