“I haven’t lost physical weight, but I’ve cast off more than 100 pounds of mental and emotional cellulite. Through this 30-day pranayama practice, I’ve faced some entrenched patterns and not-great-feeling emotions, and gotten a lot more honest—and compassionate—with myself. Just by breathing.” –Lisa Pletzer
As a way to cultivate a spacious life, what could be more basic than breathing? Here’s an inspiring piece that I saw in the Kripalu Online newsletter that chronicles one person’s 30-day journey of watching her breath.
In my world, mindful breathing, allowing, and spacious witnessing of any kind, is also known as “clearing.”
Enjoy.
(And notice your breathing).
Hmmm. I breathe 24 hours a day and my life is…well, it just is. I was intrigued by his proposition. I didn’t start a daily practice but I took a few pranayama classes and read some articles. Then my boss asked me to take on a 30-day breathing assignment. I felt equal parts excitement and fear. To be honest, I was scared to breathe. But I was willing to give it a try. Here’s what happened.
Day 1: I set my alarm 30 minutes early last night and after hitting the snooze button twice, I finally remember why I set it so early and force myself awake. This is it—the big moment.
I prop myself up in bed, close my eyes, and spend a couple of minutes just observing my natural breath and clearing my mind. Then I take a complete breath. Dirgha pranayama—three-part breath. After a couple of rounds of filling and emptying my lungs, it happens. I notice I can sort of feel my stomach touching my thighs.
“Argh! I’m so fat. Why am I so fat?!”
Shhh, I’m trying to breathe here. In, 1-2-3-4, out, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8.
“If I could just cross my legs more. It’s hard to breathe.”
Shhh. Push all thoughts from your mind. Just hear and feel the breath.
“I’m scared to breathe, I might lose weight.”
Huh? Where the heck did that come from? I want to lose weight and, anyway, what would breathing have to do with it?
I get up and go take a shower. I cry the entire time I’m in there.
Day 2: I lie in bed and listen to my breathing, feel it cool in my nostrils, hot out of my mouth. I’m relaxed, focused. Deep breath in—fill the belly up like a balloon, expand the rib cage, draw it into the upper chest. Exhale—let the breath go from the upper chest, then from the rib cage, and finally from the belly, drawing the navel back toward the spine.
A few intruding thoughts—why didn’t I get our clothes ready before bed last night? What is that noise coming from the living room? I hope there’s a bagel left—but for the most part 10 minutes of relaxing bliss. Delicious and uneventful.
Day 3: I hit the snooze button a few too many times. I’m a night owl. Maybe it would be helpful to breathe at bedtime, to relax.
Day 5: Nighttime. I lie on my bed and for a couple of minutes just breathe naturally. It’s very quiet. I can hear my older son snoring softly in the next room.
“I’m turning 43 in a couple of weeks.”
So what, let it out…
“I’m almost 43, a twice-divorced mother of two young children, and fat.”
Enough about fat! Shhh…worry about it later. Relax.
“I’m scared to breathe.”
I’ve gone from breathing to sobbing…. [article continues here]
Day 30: I made it! Thirty days of breathing.
In the end… I’m changed in some small and important ways. And the journey is continuing to unfold. I haven’t lost physical weight, but I’ve cast off more than 100 pounds of mental and emotional cellulite. Through this 30-day pranayama practice, I’ve faced some entrenched patterns and not-great-feeling emotions, and gotten a lot more honest—and compassionate—with myself. Just by breathing.
–From “Experiments in Breathing” by Lisa Pletzer
How’s your breathing, now?
