“Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” –Rashi.
Over the past three weeks I’ve introduced a model for clearing that is infinitely more sustainable and lasting called the “Four Pathways of Clearing.” [To catch up, click here.]
For clearing to work its magic you need to integrate all four pathways into a regular daily routine.
The third pathway is Non-identification. This is what it means to clear with non-identification (excerpted from my book A Year to Clear):
Can you witness a disturbance without taking it personally? Can you feel discomfort without feeding the story that created it? What can you do on the spot to unplug from a drama that is pushing your buttons? This is the work of dis-identifying.
Non-identification is the pathway of becoming the silent observer of our experience: to accept things as they are, take things less personally, witness without judgment. It takes patience and practice not to get plugged in.
Try it: If something or someone challenges your equanimity today (i.e., pisses you off, pushes your buttons), give the situation a number from 1 to 10, with 10 being the red zone of activation and attachment. See if naming and feeling the problem doesn’t reduce the charge and lower the number.
Explore
- What is one thing you can do to unplug from a situation that has gotten under your skin or is pressing your buttons? Tell us in the comment thread.
–From A Year to Clear: A Daily Guide to Creating Spaciousness in Your Home and Heart by Stephanie Bennett Vogt
Hierophant Publishing © 2015 – All Rights Reserved
UP NEXT: Clearing with Compassion
The one thing I find that works to unplug from a situation that has gotten me riled up is to back off in my mind. Like a movie camera that pans out taking in the entire surrounding scene instead of focusing up close on the detail, I pan my mind back and out until I see the whole picture. It works amazingly well to take to focus off the intense drama, anger, or pain at the center. Pan out. See the background? See the light behind the angry face? See the window behind the person in the foreground? See the flowers blooming and blowing in the breeze outside the window? Take a deep breath. Feel better. Dis-identify. This is not about me. This is just another scene in a long long movie. Don’t make it so important. Put it in perspective. Relax. By the end of the movie this scene will hardly even be remembered.
Wow, I love this, Brenda. What a brilliant tool for helping us unplug. Thank you for sharing it with us here. I may use it in my work one of these days! 😉
while no one wants to interact with a person who acts like an unfeeling unemotional robot, it’s entirely something else to explode or cave in to irrational feelings because that, too ends any real chance of communicating. for whatever reasons, age, finances, stress, I have been ‘identifying” quite regularly in the last few years. you’ve helped me by pointing out how destructive it can be. So my plan is to try seeing these type of situations from another point of view, like that of a good friend. How would you hope or want someone to act if it were your best friend ? certainly not with hysterics or threats or screaming, or really anything that cripples actual communications. hey, pretend you are being filmed, if that is what it takes.